I pick my
nose and finger
the snotty globule
I can't help but feel proud about.
Is this America, or what?!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Coffee
Emboldened by its bitter punch
and its brash burn on my lips,
I shall know the reason why.
Giving me both pride of character
and a serious case of the jitters,
I shall run amok.
With a steaming hot mug of
jet black in my hand,
I shall conquer the world.
and its brash burn on my lips,
I shall know the reason why.
Giving me both pride of character
and a serious case of the jitters,
I shall run amok.
With a steaming hot mug of
jet black in my hand,
I shall conquer the world.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Thursday, February 08, 2007
This Poem
This poem
is a magical pill
you read about in a spam advertisement.
It
will give you a huge, rock hard boner (and shiny)
that you can use for hours and hours.
Like if you have to clean the shower drain,
or perhaps you have a hole in a tree in the backyard
that needs scraped out, or maybe the downspouts on
your gutters get clogged. Thanks to this poem,
your huge, rock hard boner (and it's shiny, too, and has a purple tint)
will help you.
Maybe you can't use your hands to change the channel,
just poke those channel up and down buttons with
your dong.
Or mayhap you can't flip that omelette you've been working on.
Just slide your wang in and give it a toss. Don't
fuck around any more. With this poem, your lollygagger
will be rock hard, huge, and it will make you feel invincible,
(and don't forget: 1) shiny, 2) purple, 3) veins popping out all
over the place.)
is a magical pill
you read about in a spam advertisement.
It
will give you a huge, rock hard boner (and shiny)
that you can use for hours and hours.
Like if you have to clean the shower drain,
or perhaps you have a hole in a tree in the backyard
that needs scraped out, or maybe the downspouts on
your gutters get clogged. Thanks to this poem,
your huge, rock hard boner (and it's shiny, too, and has a purple tint)
will help you.
Maybe you can't use your hands to change the channel,
just poke those channel up and down buttons with
your dong.
Or mayhap you can't flip that omelette you've been working on.
Just slide your wang in and give it a toss. Don't
fuck around any more. With this poem, your lollygagger
will be rock hard, huge, and it will make you feel invincible,
(and don't forget: 1) shiny, 2) purple, 3) veins popping out all
over the place.)
Monday, February 05, 2007
Yes
Hilton Hightower
has returned from his latest
round of kidnappings,
mutilations, and obscene alien orgies
at the hands of . . . well, alien species.
He would attempt to explain
these most vile and beautiful creatures
to you, but his descriptions would obviously be
beyond the mental reasonings of your species.
You're so pathetic that I actually wish
those alien terrorists had held me captive
at least a little bit longer.
There's something incredibly refreshing about
intelligent creatures, even if they are severing portions
of your body.
Now I am returned to present your lowly life force
once again with the poetic disasters I write with my
own hand and the pictures I draw with the hands of others
more accomplished.
Bite it, eat it, and all that stuff.
has returned from his latest
round of kidnappings,
mutilations, and obscene alien orgies
at the hands of . . . well, alien species.
He would attempt to explain
these most vile and beautiful creatures
to you, but his descriptions would obviously be
beyond the mental reasonings of your species.
You're so pathetic that I actually wish
those alien terrorists had held me captive
at least a little bit longer.
There's something incredibly refreshing about
intelligent creatures, even if they are severing portions
of your body.
Now I am returned to present your lowly life force
once again with the poetic disasters I write with my
own hand and the pictures I draw with the hands of others
more accomplished.
Bite it, eat it, and all that stuff.
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