Oh fuck,
look at this bullshit I was born into.
My dad is the hugest tool in the world.
I mean, seriously, what a pompous ass!
My childhood and teenage years are
really going to fuck me up,
not to mention all this weird Scientology bullshit.
My mom used to be pretty cool when she
was on Dawson's Creek, but look at her now,
a puppet to dear old dad's zany ways.
She probably deserves better.
And on top of it all, I'm ugly.
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