Arrrrgh, Matey!

I once knew a pirate,
sailed with him for five years.
He was a smarmy fellow,
and downright filthy when it came to bathing,
but he was always good for a laugh,
especially when he drank.

If you think ninjas are tougher than pirates,
I'd oppose you outright.
This pirate friend of mine,
was a hard mofo.
He spent ten years in the federal penitentiary
for killing professional boxers and female basketball players.

We fought once, and I beat him by gouging his eyes
and lowblowing him six times in a row.
He still managed to stab me twice in the heart,
but I came out on top.
I always do.

He was the one who gave me a true appreciation
for hating people and things in general.

For that I'm truly grateful.