Friday, July 27, 2007

Say Hello to Dr. Carl

Dr. Carl is an associate of mine,
if you really want to get down to lead poisoning.
After receiving his M.D. in Carnage,
Dr. Carl started his own practice . . .
practicing his sadistic techniques on
anyone who would come in the front door,
be they man, ape, woman, child, pinky finger,
or Pinky Tuscadero (goddamn you Fonzie!)
He advertised in little local rags,
with a picture of his smiling, flawless
face and gentle, masculine hands, saying,
"Come on in. See Dr. Carl. I'll cure what ails you."
And they did, and he did.
Cured them all the way into shallow graves
out back of his house of horrors.
Till the law got wise, started sniffing around
Carl's axe-shack of love and biohazard.
Carl took to the hills, and he's been on the run
ever since.
I never pass judgment on ol' Carl, who's grown out
a beard now, and passes his time here and there
in the malls of small cities or along their recently
renovated riverfront plazas, passing out fliers advertising
love and fun
and new attractions, he's just trying to earn an honest
buck, and what business is it of mine?

Is he a damn good man? Hell no.
He's a devil in fleshtones, and in tribute,
I present some of examples of my terrible artwork
called "Themes on Dr. Carl's Something Something."






Thursday, July 05, 2007

Early a Man

I'm grisled.
And chiseled from old wood,
and like an old stump in the ground,
I'm rooted in my ways.

I know that freedom ain't cheap,
and I got blood on my hands,
and memories I'd sure like to get rid of,
but whatta you know about it, ya punk.
You young punks who think everything
ought to be handed to you.
It was my trigger finger that gave you
the privilege to wear
your hair long and sleep till noon
and listen to that goddamn hippie music.
But you don't have a clue.
You just see me sitting in my booth at
Hardee's and drinking coffee with my
friends and you think I'm old and strange.

Well, I was young once, and I was early a man.
And I would've kicked that smirk
right the hell offa your face
if you'd treated me
with anything but the utmost respect.
That's how we did things back then.