Poem Written from the Perspective of Ronald Polar

Hi, I'm Ronald Polar,
I have a skeleton and two balls
and I am afraid of doctors with
barbecue sauce behind their eyeballs
or ebyallz or eyballoonsss, or whatever
other type of swiss custom knife they have in mind.

I also believe in the exorcism of a bag of Doritos over
the mind control of a harmless plant,
although I extol the virtues of a nutsack.

I have a friend on the internet,
his name is Hilton Hightower, of the Highland Hightowers
of the Intestinal Fortitude of Unknown Animal Bladders
and he appears a worthy foe at my archaic, and artistic
yet altruistic and altheaistic parlances at truth and
unconsiderable vindivindivindivind. I have nothing more to
say about this.

I am a mystery to some, but
completely known to others.
I am a secret fraternal order
in my pocket, but in my heart
I am only a man.
I eat skunk, and pass on beef.
Yet I love cow, and I pass on fish,
yet I heart salmon.

I have a pet named Deniro Pussycat
and three dwarves in my hip, I call
DYNAMO, although they spell their
name with a (W), for Po(w)er.

I ask myself, not once, but %, about
how often I should do my breast exam
against the walls of crime, but it is really
of no matter, for that bacon will still
be warm when I get there.

If I am ever looking for an Internet partnership
in secret societies, I will look up Mr. Hightower
on his e-mail and see if we can work out
a deal to have a blogsite together doing
dada and other abstractions. It would be most
excitable to me to do that, for I know deep down
he is just an artist in search of friends. His e-mail is
easy to find, and I will tell him no otherwise.

I have no shame in eating doughnuts in front of
starving children on my right and peepkins on my
left hand side. I have 6 shooters in my mind,
but my eyes don't work any more. Do you know me
because where do I come from but here?