Friendship

If you look at me again,
I will remove your ribs
with my teeth
you pathetic bastard.

Your mother is a whore.

AStarStarHoles

Sometimes I wonder why kids act like assholes
and then I realize it's because they are the
byproduct of two parent assholes and that makes them
twice as likely to be assholes themselves.

Ode to a Ninja Robot

Do you have any idea how much work it takes to be a
gravity defying cannibalistic ninja robot from parts unknown?

I doubt it.

Because you're a pathetic mortal human being
who doesn't make soup from the bones of
fallen family members and who doesn't have a
cannon for a left arm.

So kiss my ass.

Eat Yourself and Enjoy the Taste

Life is nothing
but a pathetic few years
trying to impress others and
keeping your weight at a decent level
so you can pick up lovers and being miserable
and bored and depressed and broke and drunk and
oh why am I explaining this to you dumb pieces of shit?

It's a Terrible Turd of a Life

Every time you read a poem,
an angel dies.

Let's Be Friends

The best part about you is how terribly ugly you are.

Don't sit there thinking, "He's not talking about me,"
because, yes, I AM talking about you. You're ugly.

In All Seriousness

Over the holiday, my brother, Jason Hightower, sent me a letter telling me to give up my satanic ways and to "come back to the flock." He told me I live a life of sin and misery and that God would welcome me back and forgive me.

Here's my response:

Dear Jason-

Fuck off you asshole. There's a reason I stopped talking to you. Also, if God forgave me, he'd be stupid and gullible and naive and retarded. Like you.

Later prick,

Hilton

Happy New Year, Fuckers!

Christmas is a stupid public display of pathetic
empty values performed by inbred, rednecks.

I spent my Christmas drunk, and for the last
few weeks I've been drunk and passed out
in some brothel south of the border.

I couldn't stand all you piece of trash Americans
and your stocking stuffers and your egg nog and
your carols and your goddamn ugly pine trees.

Get a life and wake up. The only true holiday is the day you die.