Poem Told from the Perspective of a College Boy

Hot summer night.
Friends and drinking
and feeling alright.

Waiting for friends
to take the piss,
we saw a fat woman
and a skinny ass man
hopping on a horse,
tied up in front of that redneck
local bar.

It was a one-night stand,
started on horseback.
He wasn't her boyfriend,
just a pony express sort of ride home.

She asked me to help her up on the horse
while my friend suddenly grew starry-eyed about horses,
which he'd never seen up close before.
I helped her up on the horse,
took all the strength I had and two little paw prints
on her huge behind and she tried
to pay me back with a kiss.
But she was gross and slobbery and she got the side of my face
wet and hot with her tongue.

Then she sat back on the horse, drunk, and pulled her boob out
and said, "LOOK! Them are real!"
Only it came out like "ril," and I was standing there nose to huge
puffy nipple and all the booze in the world wasn't
enough for me to feel that it was all alright.

She asked me to get her purse for her,
my RAGE took over!
I picked her purse up off the ground and threw it as hard as I could
across the square.