Consider Yourself A Pathetic Half-life Moron, If . . .

. . . you've ever said, "I can't wait for that new Vin Diesel movie."
. . . you've ever looked forward to a meal at Burger King.
. . . you've ever told a friend how much he/she meant to you.
. . . you've ever believed a doctor cared about your well-being.
. . . you've ever thought you would amount to something.
. . . you've ever bragged about how much you like jazz music.
. . . you've ever dated another human being.
. . . you've never dated another human being.
. . . you've ever thought anyone on TV is cool.
. . . you've ever liked other human beings.
. . . you've ever perked up at the sound of an engine running.
. . . you "like" to read poetry.