Idiots

Consider yourself a complete idiot and a pathetic piece of
trash if . . .

1) you've read some good poetry lately.
HINT: There's no such thing as "good" poetry.
2) you've told someone you love them lately.
HINT: This is the worst kind of insult.
3) you've bought a great new album.
HINT: There hasn't been a great album in years.
4) you've had a "really nice time" with one or more humans lately.
HINT: Everything is an asshole and it is therefore impossible
to enjoy any sort of social activity with any creature.
5) you've been told you've "got what it takes" recently.
HINT: This just means you're a complete suckup with no
backbone and no ability to think critically. You are the worst
kind of fool.
6) you've posted to a blog recently.
HINT: Bloggers need to get a frigging life.