Lord I was born a ramblin' half-man, half-robot, half-carnivorous ninja pirate,
and that's why I haven't
been posting here lately.
The mother ship picked me up a while back because I needed a new replacement
for my hydraulic ass pump that had been installed
by my chromium ancestors several millenia back
and I took some time off from this horrible blog.
Spent some time flying through space fighting against all the good that's
starting to build up in this god-forsaken universe.
You wouldn't believe how many pathetic utopian societies I've wiped out,
thanks to that asskicker SCLUEURPCEVUL-7 and his friends,
those utopian societies are all bullshit, anyway.
And now they're gone.
So, now I'm back here on planet Earth watching all you idiots eat shit and watch NASCAR all day, which,
I might add,
is the most pathetic excuse for a pasttime since those assholes invented golf.
Anyone who watches NASCAR deserves to have their entire face removed
by a stiff uppercut from my uber-cannon-megalo-arm hydraulics.
I'd consider that mere natural selection, rednecks.
By the way, eat my feces.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment